You don’t need to be healed to be happy or feel fulfilled

2021.09.28 02:39 erinpanzarella You don’t need to be healed to be happy or feel fulfilled

Sometimes I get caught up in the idea that I am “not there yet”, as in I am not at the place I want to be internally and because of this I am not capable of thriving or being truly joyful.
I operated out of a victim mindset for so much of my life that it still rears itself sometimes. The thoughts come up that things have been too hard, I’m too damaged, or that I am not remotely far enough along in my accomplishments to be content with how my life has unfolded so far. These are all false stories but they are subconscious “truths” just the same. Our subconscious beliefs dictate around 95% of our thoughts, words & actions. And while I have healed a ton of my subconscious beliefs by bringing them to the surface through a lot of self-reflection & different healing modalities, the emotional, physical, mental, & spiritual impact of our experiences run deep and influence us whether we are aware of it or not.
Over the last few years I’ve focused a ton of self-acceptance & compassion. I often find it hardest to forgive myself. I am the only one who knows everything I’ve done & some of my past is dark because hurt people hurt people. Forgiving myself for not knowing better at the time is so important. I saw the message “you cannot judge yesterday’s decisions with today’s wisdom” and I constantly remind myself of that. Taking responsibility & accountability in my every day life is something that is relatively new in my 30 years on this earth. Victim consciousness brings you out of responsibility. Making the active choice to heal puts so much of your life back into your hands.
The internal healing journey is never done. There are moments I feel lost. There are days I lose my $hit. There are times I have so much anger that I literally have no idea what to do that I just slam things and yell. I often become overwhelmed with grief. I watched a video before about a young girl going to see her grandpa and the joy in both of their faces made me cry like a baby in the airport because my future children will never have a moment like that. It reminded me of one of the last times I saw my dad and his entire face lit up when I walked in the room. He knew me and felt joy even when he couldn’t remember or feel much else. I will never have another hug from, play another game of backgammon, or watch/curse a jets game with him and that hurts too much at times. The grief of losing my first dad at 4 hits me sometimes too, even 26 years later. Grieving the loss of two dads, who’s anniversaries are both within 11 days of my birthday by the age of 28 is something many people don’t understand & sometimes I feel like no one can relate to me and that sucks. Healing is complex. Hurting is complex. Life is complex. It is messy. It is horrible and it is beautiful.
So much of what I share with people is often met with “yeah, but what do you know? sounds like you have an easy life if you’re saying things like ‘you can be happy in this moment, regardless of your circumstances’” but the truth is we all have internal battles & traumatic experiences because we are human. I’ve actually had a lot more than many people I know personally. I’ve also had less than others & am privlidged in many ways. But we can heal because of these experiences, not inspite of them. And I know that I can be happy, just as I can be sad, or angry. I know I can feel fulfillment regardless of what my life looks like because I’ve felt it in times where I “shouldn’t” have based on societal standards.
I am often open about my harder experiences and feelings because I know what it is like to keep them bottled up. I remember a time where it all felt too heavy and I almost didn’t make it. I suffered in secret a lot. I turned to distractions to try and force them away but that only made them grow. My mental wellness is an ever-evolving process and sometimes I feel like I’m “failing” at it. I share my own antidotes fully knowing that not everyone will resonate & they will not apply to all but there is a chance one person will connect and if I can help someone feel like they are not alone and help them have more faith in themselves, then I have been fulfilled a small part of what I came here to do. I find it so fascinating that we live in a world where everyone things that a disagreement in opinions equates to an argument. I feel like the concept of discernment or differences of opinions are necessary is lost on so many given today’s climate. So I just want to re-iterate that if you disagree with anything I say, that’s cool! Test things out for yourself (or don’t). Take what resonates & leave the rest. Be open to hear something that doesn’t go along with what you believe. Take everything with a grain of salt.
There have been points in my life where everything on the surface was going right but I couldn’t see past my own darkness. I was miserable even with all my blessings. I have endured so much and there were times that I knew even though I didn’t know how I’d make it through, I knew I would. I was grateful even with all of my curses. My internal environment was something I chose completely separate from my external & that truly is a reflection of non-attachment. Non-attachment has led to so much personal sovereignty.
Everytime I focus on my own power, bring in a new perspective, open up and see where I can make choices where I once believed there were none, and trust myself, things work out for me. I might not even accomplish what I set out to do but I learn along that way, which is equally a success. This doesn’t mean that i’ve manifested everything or figured this thing called life out. It just means I was able to make peace with the moment and accept where I was. I have been able to cultivate happiness in the hardest of times.
Everytime I focus on where someone did me wrong, where I messed up, how much time I’ve wasted, or other disempowering perspectives, I pull myself out of the current moment and remove the capability of being present. Presence welcomes newness, fulfillment, & peace. Avoidance of the present and fixation on the past or future welcomes resentment, shame, guilt, anxiety, & non-fulfillment.
Your life doesn’t need to look like your dream life for you to have immense joy, gratitude, happiness, & love today. You can thrive regardless of outer circumstances. Cultivating gratitude for the little things goes a long way. Intention to look at what is going right instead of wrong is a powerful shift.
I get questions from people asking if they need to heal more in order to accomplish or receive what they want and I see how disempowering that can be. Healing is an important step but fixating on needing to heal more is another way of bringing you out of the present which brings you out of your power.
I want you to know that no matter how far you might think you are from living the life that you want, it is one decision away. You can only make one decision at a time. So instead of focusing on the whole staircase, focus on one step. You don’t and can’t figure it all out in one day so why fixate on what the master plan is? You will never know the entire picture, ever. You will never see the entire path or where it will take you. This is a great thing because how boring would that be? We all have the capability of changing our mind & the trajectory of our life, and we all have the ability to take our power back.
I’ve been on an active healing journey for years now and the truth is sometimes it doesn’t feel like I’ve healed at all when I get triggered. But I am able to recognize that this is not my truth. And that recognition is proof of how far I’ve come.
Everyone who is reading this has made a decision in some way or another to take their power back. Maybe you have felt like a victim or beat yourself up over the past. I get it, I’ve been there many, many times and I will be there again. But the fact you are choosing to look at yourself honestly & heal at least in some small way is a huge reflection of your dedication to choosing your life, which is completely possible once you believe that it is. You should be proud of yourself, because even though I don’t know you personally, I certainly am.
xx erin
TLDR;
I get questions from people asking if they need to heal more in order to accomplish or receive what they want and I see how disempowering that can be. Healing is an important step but fixating on needing to heal more is another way of bringing you out of the present which brings you out of your power.
Everyone who is reading this has made a decision in some way or another to take their power back. Maybe you have felt like a victim or beat yourself up over the past. I get it, I’ve been there many, many times and I will be there again. But the fact you are choosing to look at yourself honestly & heal at least in some way is a huge reflection of your dedication to choosing your life, which is completely possible once you believe that it is. You should be proud of yourself, because even though I don’t know you personally, I certainly am.
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2021.09.28 02:39 AnotherRedditor222 Society needs to have a talk with men and male violence more than they tell women to be careful.

I feel like society focuses more on why women choose to date certain men rather than men being that way in the first place. Especially since abusers aren't abusive in the beginning and are often considered "charming".
All these women who are killed or raped because they "ignored red flags" but not a single person asking what is wrong with men? Why are they killing and raping women?
If society keeps it up by placing even some of the blame on women, men are just going to get better at hiding their depravity. They already kill women who try to leave/groom young women into accepting male bullshit.
You literally have to raise women/girls away from men/boys if you want to protect them.
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2021.09.28 02:39 ce_matin I know it's nothing special, but after playing on and off since 2013, I finally unlocked every champion to date

Had nobody to share with so posting here :] Summoner level 167, only ever used RP for Zac and Ivern. My last buy was Jarvan IV!
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2021.09.28 02:39 humordeceive [US][H][Thrall] || Casual AOTC Guild LF more || Tue/Thurs 8:30-11:00 EST

Twisted Reflection is a Casual Heroic Progression Guild aiming for AOTC. NO Mythic progression. We are looking for some new members to raid with us in Sanctum of Domination.
We are a super laid back, casual guild that gets together to enjoy the game and BS in voice chat. Very friendly members. We’re more than okay with helping you better understand your class and improve! Please be patient, mature, reliable (attend 90% of raid nights), and respectful.
Currently 7/10 H, 10/10 N SoD
Disclaimer: We do not rush through progression, we prefer to go steady until everyone is comfortable with mechanics. So if you are expecting to quickly smash through progression and rush, we may not be the guild for you.
Need DPS and Healer
If you’re interested in joining, shoot me a message at:
Discord: humordeceive#2338 /// Bnet: humordeceive#1530
If you have questions, don't hesitate to ask! (18+ encouraged)
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2021.09.28 02:39 Rekindled96 So how weird is Warframe? (Note: weapons are Rubico Prime and Arca Scisco)

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2021.09.28 02:39 Longjumping-Sun6993 NAKD unbelievable day!

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2021.09.28 02:39 Radium_Cobalt_847 Every time someone mutters a vague instruction:

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2021.09.28 02:39 BonerChamp_69 Maintenance for an '08 w/ 235k miles

Hello everybody, wanted to see what you guys would recommend for maintenance on my E. Ive kept up on the usuals (oil, brakes, etc). I'm Not very informed on car maintenance. is there any preventative maintenance that isn't obvious to help keep my E running to 400k?? Hasn't had many major problems in the past. Window motors burned out multiple times, had to replace the starter around 150k. A/c went out a few times. There were some issues in the past with shaking during gear changes (it's an auto, can't remember what the problem was but got that solved while back). Only annoying thing now is that my E shakes alot during idle. When the a/c is on its noticeably worse. Doesn't seem to be effecting anything though, just annoying. What do you guys think? I don't wanna spend money unnecessarily so just trying to get an idea of what I should do before I take it into the shop.
Also any recommendations for mechanics in the denver area?
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2021.09.28 02:39 The_Jonah Paul for DLC

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2021.09.28 02:39 Banake Latter-day Saint, Latter-day Lovecraft: an interview with W.H. Pugmire

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2021.09.28 02:39 uncertaintyispainful Anyone's ex was their only friend their whole adult life? Did you recover eventually?

so I'm not sure if anyone will be able to relate to my case but I had a unique set of circumstances in the past from moving from one place to another to having been more socially anxious when I was younger. For the past 10 years or so as an adult, my ex of 4 years was pretty much my only close friend. and believe it or not, since the lockdown which was also right after I graduated college, she was the only one i remember having long conversations with besides a couple of immediate family members. It's weird because lately and during our relationship I don't really feel socially anxious or uncomfortable around people anymore, but I have had the worst anxiety for the past 5 months or so. i started making friends and even dating again, but something just doesn't feel right. She was the only person I felt I had access to the outside world through for a long time, socially speaking at least. I feel like something has left a huge mark on me mentally and I will never snap out of it again.
I was wondering if anyone else here has went through a similar experience and if they have an advice or tips that helped them recover. Thank you!
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2021.09.28 02:39 Own_Importance4462 💥 MUST WATCH 💥 SHITADEL WOULD HAVE COLLAPSED IF ROOBBINGHOOD DID NOT TURN OFF BUYING IN GAMESTOP IN JANUARY.......

💥 MUST WATCH 💥 SHITADEL WOULD HAVE COLLAPSED IF ROOBBINGHOOD DID NOT TURN OFF BUYING IN GAMESTOP IN JANUARY....... submitted by Own_Importance4462 to DDintoGME [link] [comments]


2021.09.28 02:39 Hot_spagetie76 APPLE DEVICE BUNDLE: iPod, iPhone 6S, iPhone 6 Plus, iPad 2, iPad 4 | eBay

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2021.09.28 02:39 zeusofpenguins There needs to be a no PC option.

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2021.09.28 02:39 __Turbo__ Picture perfect

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2021.09.28 02:39 TheoryFlaky1493 Kirlia 7552 8514 7400

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2021.09.28 02:39 Z4C18 All Squirrel Locations in Lost Judgment! (Ijincho)

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2021.09.28 02:39 Optimal-Shelter-3827 strutting

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2021.09.28 02:39 DJ-P What is your Enneagram type?

If you are in a merged category, please comment your number so we can get an idea of the distribution.
If you haven't already taken the enneagram test, please take a day, or a week, to mindlessly obsess over this, take said test, and come back with an accurate assessment.
Reddit only allows for 6 options, so merging had to occur.
This isn't a big issue, as 1 3 7 and 8 all have prevalence %s around 1-2% for INFPs.
Though for 5 and 6, the occupancies are 8 and 10 % respectively, which kinda messes this up.
So make sure to follow the first line!
Here are the official correlation statistics.
The purpose of this poll is, to, well, poll. And to have a discussion about why certain types correlate with INFPs, obsess over that, and also obsess over certain anomalies that occur, allowing us to better understand ourselves with the help of enneagram, which some here haven't discovered yet.
View Poll
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2021.09.28 02:39 AshleyMeyer77 Happy 57th to Third Eye Blind's Stephan Jenkins!

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2021.09.28 02:39 Regular_Situation136 Pls help ASAP

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2021.09.28 02:39 CoolOffBro What are the funniest jokes you know that aren't overused?

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2021.09.28 02:39 NothinButMs mac miller type beat - beat-041.mp4

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2021.09.28 02:39 Redditpede Stephen Curry in his latest interview looking like he gained 15 pounds... of muscle

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2021.09.28 02:39 Amaalecule PS4 controller won't register on pc, alongside support for 2560x1080 resolution

Just need advice whether my Dualshock 4 controller will register on pc, and if they plan to fix the ultrawide resolution implementation. 1900x1200 or whatever fits ultrawide but is super stretched. When I select my monitor's native res, it adds black bars on either side and doesn't fit.
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